


You Taught Me The Ropes And You Taught Me To Love

by zoodlino



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon Related, Canon Rewrite, Canonical Character Death, Fix-It, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-20
Updated: 2020-06-20
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:14:25
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 906
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24825883
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/zoodlino/pseuds/zoodlino
Summary: What if their last conversation took a different turn? A Winston x Alex alternate ending.
Relationships: Alex Standall & Winston Williams, Alex Standall/Winston Williams
Comments: 8
Kudos: 63





	You Taught Me The Ropes And You Taught Me To Love

**Author's Note:**

> Let me just say Charlie is so sweet...but his chemistry with Alex can't compare to Winston x Alex in my opinion! A little angsty fluff after a dark season...
> 
> xx

“Your boyfriend’s watching us.”

It’s true; Ani, Zach and Charlie are not so covertly staring at Alex and Winston through the glass window front of Monet’s.

“They all are. They’re not exactly your fan club, if you know what I mean,” Alex deadpans, then trails off awkwardly. Maybe this isn’t the time or the place, not with them having just come from Justin’s fucking funeral service.

“Yeah, well.”

Winston’s voice is barely even sardonic, in a way that means he’s utterly vulnerable right now. Alex knows this, knows him, and it makes his heart pitter-patter in his chest. Which is wrong, right? For death to push this inexplicable urge in Alex to live, to be alive, to never, never give up his life willingly, the way he almost did when he took his father’s gun.

In stark contrast to that, all Alex feels when Charlie takes his hand, squeezes his leg, is awkward and out of place, like the puniest kid getting picked first for a game of dodgeball. He should want to be with Charlie, to soak up his warmth and sincerity to get through this difficult time… 

Instead he’s standing outside in the cool evening air with Winston, his…whatever they are to each other now, now that Winston knows the truth about him.

“Are you…happy with him?” Winston forces out between clenched teeth.

“He’s sweet and kind and attentive and god, it kind of makes me hate him, do you know what I mean?” Alex scrunches up his nose, and Winston has the absurd thought that he just wants to kiss it. But that’s not why he had wanted to talk with Alex.

Alex seems to read his mind. “This…isn’t really what I thought we would talk about.”

Winston swallows audibly. “I can…I think I can understand why you did it. The things Bryce had done…are inexcusable. But to kill him over it?”

Alex flinches. “It…it wasn’t like that, it wasn’t like I intended to. He was…he was just yelling about how he was gonna destroy Zach’s life…which he already had…and I didn’t see a soul, I just saw hate, and I got this, this flash of rage that I get ever since my TBI, because he’s hurt everyone I ever loved and I….I pushed him off the docks.”

Alex has tears in his eyes and regret, so much regret. Yet Winston, in spite of everything, is not one of them, could never be. How he is going to get Winston to see that is, unfortunately, another question all together.

“Are you sorry you did it?”

“More than I can ever say.” Alex is staring at Winston imploringly. Not because he’s afraid of Winston turning him in, he isn’t, truly, no, he wants Winston to understand, to….stay. Winston, however, has other things on his mind.

“Was Jessica with you?” Winston’s voice is colored with jealousy, and Alex feels a conflict of emotions: loyalty to Jessica, so much of that, but also a tiny bit of satisfaction, deep down. Still, he can’t betray Jess, and so he stays silent.

Winston snorts angrily. Then his face grows darker, and his voice breaks. “Did you ever really love me?”

The question hands in the air, with so many unspoken implications. Alex’s mouth opens and closely silently, taken aback. “How could you…of course I did, I….”

 _I still do_ is on the tip of Alex’s tongue. It’s the truth, but knowing it and facing it are two entirely different things. 

“You opened up a whole new world for me. You….were my world.”

Winston inhales shakily, reaching inside his jacket pocket. He is holding the tape, Bryce’s tape. What a slap in the face, in Hannah’s face, that was. Winston hesitates, then hands it to Alex.

“I’m not gonna do anything. I thought I was gonna because…” A stray tear falls down Winston’s cheek. “I loved Monty. I knew him, somehow. But I loved you too.”

Alex reels a bit from this confession, but really, is he surprised? It makes sense now, what Clay had told him about Winston’s desire to chase down Bryce’s real killer. Alex still can’t quite believe Winston isn’t turning him in. Is there a future for them, with everything that’s happened?

Emboldened, Alex decides to test the waters. “So you…weren’t just using me?”

“Maybe at first, but then I… I got to know you. And all I could think was here is this gorgeous, amazing boy, and god, I just want to be with him. I still do.”

Charlie is lovely, is caring and gentle – and not at all right for Alex. Not when there’s this boy right in front of him.

Alex surges forward, cradling the back of Winston’s head in his hands, kissing him deeply, like it’s his last kiss on earth.

And it feels like Alex’s whole body is on fire, or some other equally clichéd feeling, and he knows that even if he’s done terrible things, he is not a lost cause, not when there’s someone that makes him feel this way. 

When they separate to draw breath, Winston is visibly astonished. “But…Charlie…”

Yes, Charlie, who is inside Monet’s still, having seen all of that.

“There was never really anyone else.” And Alex means it: Charlie, Ani, Zach, Clay, none of them matter. All that matters is this, him and Winston, right here and now.


End file.
